Thank you Bonnie Bluewater 🐦, rhonda doruiter, Amar | Travel & Stories, and many others for tuning into my live video!
On this episode of The Positive Pen: Stories, Soul Work & Substack, I sat down with my longtime TikTok friend Gary to talk about his wife, April—the woman he met online more than two decades ago, built a family with, laughed with, and ultimately had to say goodbye to.
Their story began in 2003 in a Yahoo chat room. Two 18-year-olds started talking and stayed up until five in the morning. Soon there were nightly phone calls after 9 p.m., when cell phone minutes were free, followed by a 900-mile journey that brought them together in person.
What began online became a life together.
Gary described April as genuine, intentional, warm, funny, and someone who “never knew a stranger.” She loved bringing people together. Their home became the gathering place for holidays, Christmas celebrations, game nights, and pumpkin-carving parties for their children and friends.
Then came the part of their story no family is ever truly prepared for.
April became ill, and after enduring tremendous pain and treatment, she passed away. Gary spoke openly about those final moments, the numbness that followed, and the reality of returning home knowing the person who had been at the center of his life was no longer physically there.
Perhaps the most powerful part of our conversation was Gary’s description of grief.
He compared their relationship to two trees planted beside each other whose roots had grown together. Pull one tree away, and part of the other tree inevitably goes with it. The surviving tree may continue growing, but it needs time, nurturing, and care.
That’s grief.
We also talked about Gary’s children and how the family has learned to recognize when someone is struggling. Instead of trying to fix the pain, they sit together in it.
As Gary beautifully put it, sometimes “you just need somebody to sit in the mud with you.”
One comment from rhonda doruiter after hearing Gary’s story captured the heart of our conversation beautifully:
“You are grieving the person you built your life with while somehow carrying life forward for your children. The love you have for your wife, and the father you are determined to remain for your children, speaks more powerfully about you than any definition of strength could.”
I think Rhonda captured something important. Strength after loss isn’t pretending you’re okay. Sometimes strength is simply getting up, loving your children, carrying the memories, and finding a way through another day.
And maybe that’s what the people we meet along the way ultimately teach us.
We don’t necessarily “move on” from those we love.
We learn how to carry them forward.
Five Lessons from April and Gary’s Story
- Love becomes part of who we are. Deep relationships leave roots that remain long after someone is gone.
- Grief cannot be fixed. Sometimes the greatest gift is simply sitting beside someone in their pain.
- Moving forward isn’t the same as moving on. We can continue living while carrying those we love with us.
- Strength can be quiet. Sometimes strength is a grieving father continuing to show up for his children while carrying his own pain.
- Never underestimate the people you meet along the way. A conversation between two strangers can become a love story that changes an entire lifetime.
A Song for April
Less than a month after April passed, Gary found himself awake at 2 a.m. Unable to sleep, he began writing. Those words became a song for the woman he loved.
Sometimes we write for others to hear. Other times, we write because our heart needs somewhere to put the love that remains.
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About the Author
John Rinaldo writes The Positive Pen, a weekly publication centered on soul work, reflection, and the quiet process of becoming. He also hosts the live podcast Stories, Soul Work & Substack every Monday at 4 PM EST, where written ideas open into honest conversation.
© 2026 John V. Rinaldo. All rights reserved.
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